I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
PANTIES FOUND
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