even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I party with great urgency now.
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