Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
