On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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