sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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