Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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