I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
