Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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