The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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