My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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