bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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