he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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