So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
