just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
