My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
