just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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