He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
