Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
