I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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