loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
