Nicole vs. Life
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
