u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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