Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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