OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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