Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
