a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
