Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
