A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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