i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm at about main and main street
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
