i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
