they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
