he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
