well I can't set my house on fire every night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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