I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
