If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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