I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
