Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
