Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
is that a dick in a sweater?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
