Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
