I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
