Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This baby is an asshole
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Randomize
