I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
