She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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