Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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