ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
