i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
