I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
