it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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