she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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