Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
